Couple of tips for you as we head full force into wedding season. Also known as “How not to be a jerk”
#1 – Don’t wear white to the wedding unless you are the bride. That goes for off white, creme, sorta white, used to be white but now it’s not and almost all white but look there’s some color right here. If you are wearing mostly white and you’re not the bride, just know that everyone thinks you look like a jerk (no matter how good you think you look).
#2 – Show up on time or early. If you are late, don’t walk into the ceremony. It’s so rude and distracting to everyone. You think you are being quiet and it’s okay but it’s not. It’s disrespectful to the bride and groom. If you feel the need to walk your late butt into the ceremony, don’t walk down the middle. You’re not the bride or the bridal party – the middle is not for you. But you want to go down the middle? Fine. Re-write the check to the couple for $50 more than you originally wrote it for. That’s the fee to use the middle aisle.
#3 – During the cake cutting and the first dance, shut up. Just….pay attention to the bride and groom. It will take all of 5 minutes for the cake cutting and 3:30 for the first dance. That’s literally 10 min for you to try and not look like a jerk.
Follow these simple tips and you might have good love karma. Don’t, and not only will you look like a jerk, you will be plagued with a bad love life. For real. It will happen.