Alice Cooper: Re-Elected

Last month, Detroit‘s own Alice Cooper announced that he wants to be “Elected” as both the President of the United States and Prime Minister of Great Britain.

To go along with the frivolous campaign, he’s updated the classic 1972 song “Elected.”

Alice Cooper’s 2016 version of “Elected.” :

In case you missed his announcement in July, Cooper’s “campaign staff” issued a statement saying, “‘Elected’ is once again an anthem for modern times, and when it all boils down to it — a long-flowing mane of (real) hair beats Bernie / The DonaldHillary/ [former London mayor] Boris [Johnson] styles hands down, and his American accent and people’s policies are way easier for the British to understand than any of Michael Gove / Theresa May‘s (although it might not be just the accent).”

But he does have a platform. He’s asking his fellow Americans, his British friends and all those around the world who are disillusioned with their leaders to join “The Wild Party.” He promises to “tackle the everyday concerns discussed among…the ordinary, decent, hard-working (and rocking) people he meets and entertains every day while performing nearly 100 concerts a year around the world.”

Here are the Top 10 items on Alice’s agenda:

  1. Getting Brian Johnson back in AC/DC
  2. A snake in every pot
  3. No more pencils, no more books
  4. Adding Lemmy to Mount Rushmore
  5. Rename Big Ben “Big Lemmy”
  6. Groucho Marx on the $50 bill
  7. Peter Sellers on the £20 note
  8. Cup holders required for every airplane seat
  9. Ban on talking during movies in movie theaters
  10. Ban on taking selfies, except on a designated National Selfie Day

Alice says, “Why NOT me? I have T-shirts to sell.”

For more information, log onto AliceForPresident.com or VoteAliceCooper.com.

More from Jim Johnson
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